Going through the field camp week was like being in confinement week all over again. For nearly 2 weeks I wasn’t able to smell the air in mainland and my (bad) perception of field camps didn’t make things any better either.

But perhaps it was the combination of Babe’s positivity plus being in Leopard coy and just taking things as it comes that didn’t make my 6 days stay in the outfield that bad after all.

No doubt there were a lot of “shitty things” that I experienced like digging a hole aka shell scrape and sleeping in it, not bathing for so long and watching a dozen mosquitoes buzzing in a group just a few centimetres away from me.

For the record, I find sleeping in the shell scrape much more comfortable than in the basha. And I realized coffee doesn’t really help me in keeping myself awake during my shift in the 1/3 alert.

There were no wild boars though but a huge millipede did die a dreadful death of being burnt with solid fuels.

Yet despite all those, I was thankful that the field camp at least reminded me how a rainbow looked like. I thought I could see Carebears too but, no. The evening skies never failed to wow me every other day. And the last night reminded me of the nights when I was in Tioman. Stargazing with friends, hah! How often do you do that?

But it was so cold on the that night and even with my jacket on, I couldn’t help but to join the others and build a fireplace just to keep myself warm.

And I thought the food ration sucks but having pasta, mee goreng and briyani rice was just more than all of us could ask for. On top of that we still had our fair share of canned drinks, fruit bars and biscuits to keep us going. So, it wasn’t that bad eh?

I kept thinking of Babe throughout especially when her first day of work in her new workplace coincided with the fact that I’m unable to use my handphone. I was worried but somehow deep inside I felt consoled ’cause I knew that she’d be fine.

During the BIC, when the leopard crawls across the sandy paths were just too unbearable, it was Babe whom I kept picturing in my mind.

To top it all off, the field camp demonstrated who are the wayang kings, the garang monsters and the ones that you can really rely on.

The best part for me? To be able to talk to my loved ones once again and be updated with their lives. It meant a lot to me ’cause I got confined right after field camp. Hah! I misplaced my tent pins.

But everything happened for a reason for the confinement particularly, was really a blessing in disguise.

Exactly 1 month from today, I’ll POP. Oh goodness golly…

I just got a letter from the Ministry of Health and it’s a shockingly thick one indeed. I guess by now you’d probably know what the contents are all about.

The introduction of the letter says that I’m turning 21 soon and basically I have to decide whether I wanna donate my organs or not when the appropriate time comes. Truthfully, this didn’t even cross my mind at all. I mean it’s not even a topic during lunch breaks.

It’s like suddenly asking me whether I opt for euthanasia or be pulled out of the life-saving machine.

But it did got me thinking for a while. And by doing that, I’m being hesitant. That’s so not me. I’ve always believed in giving out more than taking in but my selfishness kicked in somehow this time round. Maybe because it really involves me, me… you know?

I guess I’ll put the submission of the forms on hold first. Not that I wanna consult people for advices but more on doing some soul-searching on this issue.

Will you donate hmmm?

Being brought up from where I am, as a citizen and civilian, I never had the chance to experience what the elections is really all about. Because I sub-consciously know that no matter what happens, there can only be one outcome.

While others are asking for a change in the way the country works, we ask for lifts to be on every floor. While they ask why must it be their very own sons that have to be at the warfront, we ask why are there more gantries on our roads.

People there chant his name in rallies because they really feel what he meant but here we just be there to well… make up the numbers.

I must admit that I was glued to the TV for nearly an hour when Obama spoke in one of his many speeches because it was so powerful and sincere. He spoke with his heart, not through his papers. But sadly I can’t say the same for my very own. (Luckily there’s cable TV to switch to OTHER channels, heh.)

I was quite into the presidential elections this time round and I believe lots of other people are too. But I didn’t even know Obama was voted President till I was told by one of my “higher-ups” after a briefing.

After all, we were all in a jungle for our field camp… Ahhh, I’ll save that for another time.

“Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way.”

Damn I hate Murphy now.

The salt: To have done everything that you possibly can to achieve the best but in the end, failure is what you get.

The wound: To come across the exact same scenario again. The feeling is so “wtf! how can this be?”

The salt on the wound: To be wrongfully blamed by someone whom I thought I could somewhat trust.

The medication: To have people who can see the bigger picture, reassure their faith on you despite you being badmouthed. And these people are not even close to me. But for now I know who’s real and who’s not.

The recuperation: Tahan a bit more? Switch alliances? Put on a mask? Damn I hate history lessons.