Ibu, engkau lah ratu hatiku

I never felt so good talking to my mum before. Maybe it has been quite a while since we last had proper conversations. But I must admit that NS has totally changed my relationship with her - it got better.

From the day I see her tear when I first got enlisted till as of today when I’m facing quite a few setbacks, her approach towards me has changed. She has become more encouraging and supportive of me, something which I wouldn’t say lack in the past but it just wasn’t as direct and clear as it is now.

After telling her the sorrows that I’m going through now, she went on to talk about the challenges she faced at work which made mine like a speck of dust. But I never see break down or show any kind of distraught before, even when the problems that bogged her weighed like tonnes more than mine. And I’m already on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

There’s no real secret to her strong mind and soul, just a few simple beliefs. I can proudly say that I inherited some of them which have moulded me into who I am today. But there’s still loads more than I can learn from her.

Perhaps I have always taken her for granted. Until I realized that on the day that I fell into a bottomless pit, it’s still my own mum that came around to find me, ask me if I’m okay down there and throw in a rope to haul me up to safety.

Mum, I don’t know if you know that I have a blog. But I do know that you use a computer at work. And if by any chance you happen to Google my name and stumble across this site, I hope you’ll read this little entry that I wrote.

Because I just want you to know that I owe a lot to you.