It’s a wrap! Part II

And here is Part II of my mini-movie-review-of-movies-that-I’ve-watched. I really wish I could watch a whole lot more but I would rot if I were to face my PC screen the entire day.

First off, (You Don’t Mess With The) Zohan…

Frankly, it was funny because Adam Sandler wasn’t Adam Sandler. ’cause I only found myself laughing over his thick-accented sentences which he apparently got from Khaustralia. You know the country that has khangharoos? Yeah, that one.

Other gimmicks includes his inhumane acts of swimming like a dolphin, taking on multiple armed contacts with no weapons… it seemed to me like he wanna be the Jackie Chan of the West.

And if there was to be a hidden message in the movie, it would be “Guys, treasure your dick. ’cause entertainment comes in different ages and sizes.”

I was pretty surprised that day included politics in the movie too, highlighting the tension between Israel and Palestine. And just like any other B-list movie, there ought to be a love story and a sexy hot babe. Sex scenes not included.

Well Zohan, you can continue to cut people’s khair but I don’t really fancy a Middle-Eastern Adam Sandler. Bring back my old Adam Sandler to me, to me!

You wanna go ask the usher for his/her number? 

***

So I wasn’t happy that I wasted an hour or so, of my life and I turned to Guru Pitka.

For starters, I didn’t know Justin Timberlake was in this movie. Hahaha! But I guess he did a decent job here considering the fact that I was fooled by his disguise.

Generally it was watch-able. The funny parts really were funny but I felt that the storyline was kinda weak. If the scriptwriters took out the ice-hockey parts and focused wholly on Guru Pitka, I think it’ll be awesome.

Again, the hidden message of this movie is really about dicks. But it did raise my curiosity a little. If a guy unzips, pulls out his homemade sausage that lands on the floor with a loud THUD, will girls really be amazed and give that horny look?

‘CAUSE I THINK IT’S DISGUSTING! I wouldn’t set up a ‘tent’ if I saw a girl whose assets are as big as Mr Trump’s… bank account!

Considering the lack of comedy films coming up lately, The Love Guru would really stand out amongst the other blockbuster films.

3 stars - Go answer your nature call, even when it didn’t ring.

***

Okay so I had enough of dicks and I really believed that I’ll be jinxed if I were to watch 3 dick-based movies in a row.

I made an unexpected choice of watching Sex and the City. Unexpected because it was really a movie that was supposed to be watched by girls together with their girlfriends, as claimed by Babe.

Unexpected also because I thought I had to follow their series on cable TV to fully understand the movie, something which I obviously had never done before.

But hey, it wasn’t as bad as I had expected. Heh. I think the M18 rating was really for those girlfriends who wanna watch it together. Boyfriends should stay home and watch as there are really hot, steamy scenes that are really… worth watching.

Initially the thought of watching 4 matured women telling their own life story seemed to be a bad idea. Yet somehow there’s just something that brings it to life. Perhaps it the characters that are played so brilliantly that every one of them stood out prominently. Or maybe the story line that flowed seamlessly. Or maybe both.

It was a little bit like The Devil Wears Prada in terms of the advertising part ’cause a whole lot of brands were associated with blatantly displayed in the movie. But I think they complement each other. They get publicity and the movie had its touch of class.

Sarah Jessica Parker was just… WOW! She’s so stunning for someone who is as old as Singapore. I pray hard my wife won’t be so chapalang when she’s in her 40s.

I had to admit it was one of the best movies I’ve ever watched. You can see that I’m pretty bias writing such a long review in comparison to others right? In fact, it deserves more than just this length.

And what the hell was I doing all these while watching Prison Break and all! I had completely neglected my feminine side. Maybe I should watch the drama series on re-run.

For I am still still bias till now, I gotta leave you with a funny shot from the series…

5 stars - Don’t blink. I said, don’t even blink.

***

Okay… if you’re still reading up to this point, I thank you very much ’cause I haven’t been writing this long for so long and capture an audience attention for as long too.

A friend of mine recommended a movie that’s kinda low-profile actually. 21. Heard of it, no?

It wasn’t THAT bad but it was bad because I completely left the movie alone to go and do other stuff for the first time! Oh btw the story is about blackjack played in Las Vegas by students, yes students, who were more… logically inclined than others.

Logic because they just used maths, or more accurately probability, to make their way to the riches. In other words, they were counting cards. If you like numbers, you’ll like this one. The concept was interesting but the storyline was waaaaaaaaaay too draggy Mr Director. And the flashback from school to Vegas, Vegas to school just gets on my nerves.

Halfway through I already knew what’s gonna happen at the end. Which did eventually happen except for there’s a twist. It did wake me up a little but c’mon, who puts a twist at the end of the story? It’s as good as not putting it in the first place.

The lead actor, Jim Sturgess reminded me of Zac Efron of HCM minus the ego boy look. He would really appeal to girls who like nerdy guys with a streak of bad-boy attitude. And Kate Bosworth is just so sexy. Even sexier than Jessica Alba in Love Guru.

I’ve always believed this method, that maths can be used to solve our daily life constraints. It’s just that I dropped A Maths 3 months after I bought the book and I’m just too lazy too be infused with numbers.

And btw, counting cards in Vegas… is a true story.

2 stars - You wanna go ask the usher for his/her number? 

***

I’ve come to my last bit of movie-watching and it had to be Wall-E!!!

Okay a short introduction. I don’t like sci-fi movies. Medieval times like Harry Potter, LOTR… out of the window. But medieval times like Troy and Kingdom of Heaven, I like. Star Wars and Star Trek… nah-uh. But I think Wall-E’s just too cute to be ignored. I’m weird, like that.

I watched it twice and I still laughed at Wall-E’s silly moments and felt my heart sank when Eve realized that Wall-E was really just another Wall-E towards the end of the movie.

In this movie, I learnt two things - silence is golden and emotions are best shown, not said, as demonstrated by Pixar. I mean they’re robots and robots meant are programmed. But the fact that they have Artificial Intelligence made them have this little bit of individuality.

I read up a little and Eve was inspired by Apple’s iPod - sleek and beautiful. But Wall-E’s solar-charging really cracked me up. It had the sound of a Mac being switched on and I was wondering just how much say Steve Jobs had in this movie.

Great show, great entertainment and I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I love the lack-of-script concept. Awesome yo! Go catch it while it’s still on the movie screens.

4 stars - You can eat your popcorn. Periodically.

***

And that’s about all of the movies I’ve watched so far. In the coming weeks, I won’t have the chance to do all this. But I welcome the change.