Where’s Wally/Mas Selamat?

How many days has it been since Mas Selamat escaped from that supposedly heavily-guarded centre?

I don’t know ’cause I don’t even care ’cause the gahmen makes me feel so safe ’cause they seemed to make the issue of an escaped terrorist as casual as how the durian in Geylang Lorong 21 tasted so bad!

Lately there has been so many theories related to this escaped detainee. Speculations are arising and will definitely not stop till people get some handy facts on their hands. Otherwise they will continue to make up stories.

The gahmen are not making things better either by never failing to give outdated information. They should seriously ditch their Rolex and go for G-Shock or Casio.

Let me share a few theories, that I know of, that have sprung from the professors amongst us.

Theory #1

Mas Selamat is jumping from forests to forests in Indonesia right now. Perhaps even stopping by that little shop by the roadside to enjoy a cup of kopi and a plate of nasi lemak. C’mon lah, he could have gone all the way to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal and took a boat to Batam right after he escaped.

Why linger around especially when Singapore is such a small island?

Plus nobody knew who Mas Selamat was at 4.05pm since the news of his escape broke out, pun intended, only 4 hours later.

Theory #2

Mas Selamat used black magic to escape from the detention centre. He made himself invisible and walked out of the place without leaving any traces behind. As of now, if he really has black magic, he may be standing right beside you. You can’t see him right? Yeah he may be there.

That’s the reason why the Police are alerting us to be careful of lost items ’cause Mas Selamat may very well be the invisible thief.

Theory #3

He was reported to be seen in Malaysia. ’cause there are signs all over Malaysia that reads “Selamat Datang Ke Malaysia”.

Direct translation: “Selamat Comes Into Malaysia”
Actual translation: “Welcome to Malaysia”

Theory #4

Mas Selamat is dead by now. This whole thing about him escaping is just a conspiracy. ’cause apparently he has been tortured so badly in the centre that he died due to excessive bleeding or something (you can’t expect a terrorist to be interrogated the same way as any other detainees right?).

So to cover up that he’s dead, the gahmen reported that he has escaped. The truth may be that his body was already being disposed somewhere at the time of the report.

Think about which is a better-looking worst headline on our Straits Times:

Terrorist escaped from a heavily-guarded centre in Singapore
VS
Terrorist died in detention centre due to inhumane torture.

Both are bad situations. Both shed a bad light. But given the circumstances, the better of the worst had to be picked.

Then why all these trouble of deploying the armies, gurkhas and police officers for search operations, and jamming the routes along Causeway and Second Link? It’s just simply to make the story that Mas Selamat escaped even more believable.

*****

So that’s about all the possibilities that I know of. If you have any other stories, please share yeah?

Personally, #4 is a high possibility. Till Mas Selamat is found and photographed/videotaped, and shown on national TV. Even so, there shouldn’t be signs that they are doctored.

Remember the Sept 9/11 attacks? Go do a simple YouTube search and there are loads of evidences that shows the disaster was very much too unrealistic to be a terrorist attack. In fact, it swayed towards the rumour that it was all pre-planned by the Bush administration.

Even before you blame me for watching too much Prison Break and Wentworth Miller, I have my own supporting reasons of siding #4 too.

1) Mas Selamat’s escape was reported to the whole of Singapore 4 hours after it took place. Perhaps the first common man to know about it are the residents of Goldhill. So why the late reporting for such a high-profile name?

2) 24 hours after his escape, the search was still limited to 800m from the detention center. That’s 2 rounds of the stadium track and as I’ve mentioned before, it’s not impossible to walk that distance in less than 24 hours.

3) If someone who has extensive networks with people who are capable of killing, bombing, threatening the national security, would you say to your citizens “to continue to live life as per normal“?

4) If someone who has extensive networks with people who are capable of killing, bombing, threatening the national security, would you say to your citizens “This should have never happened. I’m sorry that it has” in such a nonchalant manner?

5) Politics work in ways you would never imagine it happening. Simply put - what you see isn’t what you get.

So what say you?